It’s the end of the school year for me. This means vacation time for a speech-language pathologist working in the public school system. The first week home was all about cleaning, organizing, wanting my children to do the same, cooking elaborate & healthy breakfasts for my family, attempt to garden, and repeat.

I quickly realized that I needed to get away. I didn’t want to go on a vacation where I would be busy, walking around and stimulate my mind, not right now anyways. We all know that sometimes when you go on vacation, you need a vacation from the vacation. I didn’t want this. I was looking to decompress. I was looking for a vacation where I could relax, still the mind, and enhance an overall experience of well-being while connecting with my spouse.

So off I went on a 6 day vacation to California at the Marriott Anaheim Hotel, a few blocks from Disneyland where while my husband worked during the day, I engaged in mindful relaxation. I wasn’t on a forced schedule, I wasn’t expected to do a thing. I was about to embark on the best vacation ever, (the stillness of the mind).

So what did I do?

• Slept 7-8 hours every night and enjoyed naps at times in the middle of the day with the balcony glass door wide open letting the calming breeze sweep in.
• Set my alarm to 7:30am every morning and went to the hotel gym.
• At the gym, I walked for 1 hour. I love walking. It’s not a chore. I’m not forced to do this. I enjoy it. I feel that I can truly breathe. I challenged myself and walked faster at an incline of 1.0 at a pace of 3.2 to 3.3 mph and reached my goal of 3 miles. (Honestly, I walked faster than when I jogged LOL) The gym had glass walls all around facing outside with plenty of sunshine. I felt like I walking outdoors. It even had a scenic view of a beach, sand, forest or city on the treadmill screen for an added motivation.
• I established a routine and after my workout, I would immediately go eat breakfast in the VIP lounge (an unexpected perk) of scrambled eggs, potatoes, bacon and fruit with Starbucks coffee.
• I took long hot showers and did my hair daily without being on a time crunch, no pressure to be anywhere.
• I took my time choosing my daily outfits for comfort and style.
• I spent time in the balcony, just feeling the warmth of the sun and the breeze fanning my hair.
• I spent my day Reading, Reading, Reading from books on Spiritual Growth to Personal Development.
• I prayed and asked God for guidance + counsel in the Beauty of His Presence.
• I was quiet during the day. I didn’t say a word other than during prayer. I was still, quiet, and at peace.
• I walked around the hotel until I would find an isolated spot to blog on my computer and write.
• In the hotel room, I would watch some youtube videos on fascinating topics of interest.

  • Then read , read some more

• In the evening once my husband finished work, we would get dinner overlooking the city. I felt like a VIP. I’ve learned that it’s not always what you have or what you know , But who you know or like I like to say, “Divine connections”.
• I Held meaningful conversations with my husband without distractions, laughed, and enjoyed time together.
• I did some light shopping at the gift shop. I picked up dark chocolate, a California magnet, a tote bag, and a red Angel’s
  baseball cap.
• We walked out in the community to a local & popular ice cream shop. It gets cold here in the evenings so we walked to target and picked up a sweater for the chilly nights.
• I Held conversations and listened to stories from my husbands’ coworkers and employer.
• I lived in the moment all week long. I felt no anxiety. No urgency. I was off the clock!

So what was the Result of this Unplugged vacation getaway? I experienced a reduction of stress, appreciation for living in the moment, and a deeper connection with my husband. I also experienced an increase ability to focus and concentrate. I could show up for myself and be disciplined with my health by making ideal food choices and engage in fitness consistency. I could write & blog and have an outlet for my creative energy. I found my emotions regulated with a feeling of calm and balance. These simple mindful practices helped me reflect & connect with my goals, aspirations, and needs. I truly feel that I experienced personal growth and what truly makes me tick. This vacation was more than just a getaway. It was a retreat for my spirit, body, and soul.

Karly

Desde niña, me enseñaron este mandamiento. Es el quinto mandamiento con una promesa. La promesa es que tendrás una larga vida (Éxodo 20:12). ¡Wow! Es asombroso, sobre todo si tenemos en cuenta que la esperanza de vida promedio de un ser humano es de 75 años. De niños y adolescentes, todos hemos pasado por una etapa de rebeldía o en la que creíamos saberlo todo y que nuestros padres no sabían nada. Pensábamos: «Están desconectados», «no saben nada». Pero como siempre decía mi madre: «Cuando venías, yo iba y volví varias veces». En resumen, no hay nada nuevo bajo el sol.

A medida que envejecemos y formamos nuestras propias familias, muchos creen que ya no tenemos que honrar a nuestros padres, y que honrarlos es algo que solo hacemos cuando somos menores de edad y estamos bajo su cuidado. Muchos creen que al casarnos o mudarnos, este mandamiento no aplica.

La Biblia enseña lo contrario. Jesús lo expresó muy claramente en Marcos 7:8-13. Se propuso exponer a la comunidad religiosa (fariseos y escribas) por haber olvidado honrar a su padre y a su madre, invalidando así la Palabra de Dios. Cuando una persona se casa, su esposa e hijos se convierten en la prioridad. Nada supera a la familia nuclear ni al cónyuge; sin embargo, no olvidamos a nuestros padres ni descuidamos honrarlos.

Esto me lleva a la pregunta: ¿Qué significa honrar a tu madre y a tu padre? O mejor aún, ¿cómo honramos a nuestros padres de niños, como jóvenes, y ya de adultos?

Cómo honrar a tus padres:

1. Muestra respeto: escucha sus historias, pensamientos y sentimientos. ¿Cuáles son sus intereses? Háblales con amabilidad. Sé cortés y cariñoso. No los insultes ni seas grosero. No los menosprecies ni los hagas sentir inferiores. Anímalos, motívalos y anímalos. Tenlos en alta estima. Escucha sus consejos.
2. Pasa tiempo valioso con ellos: visítalos a menudo, sal a caminar por el parque, llévalos a restaurantes, cocínales una comida o ve a almorzar a su casa. A la mayoría de las madres que conozco les encanta cocinar para sus hijos, hijos adultos o nietos. Habla con ellos regularmente por teléfono. Nunca sabes cuándo tendrás esa última conversación. Ve a la iglesia con ellos, cuida el jardín con ellos. Pídeles que te ayuden si esta es su especialidad. Sé que mi madre tiene una mano verde. Todo lo que toca en el mundo vegetal florece. Cocinen juntos, vayan de compras, pasen el rato en la playa y hablen. Haz un esfuerzo para llevar a tu madre o a tu padre de vacaciones o de viaje. Hay un tiempo para la familia nuclear y hay un tiempo en el que puedes compartir vacaciones y honrarlos.
3. Apóyalos financiera y/o emocionalmente: ora con ellos, escucha sus historias, ayúdalos con los recados, el pago de facturas o las tareas del hogar. Si tu madre o padre tienen ingresos fijos y limitados, ayúdalos económicamente. Dales dinero. Establece un presupuesto para apoyarlos mensualmente. Créeme que no solo ayuda, pero demuestra amor, gratitud y aprecio. Si tu madre es viuda, asegúrate de cubrir sus necesidades lo mejor que puedas. Incluye esto en tu presupuesto como un aroma grato para Dios. Recuerda que la verdadera religión es ayudar a las viudas y huérfanos en sus momentos de necesidad.
4. Gratitud: Diles a menudo que eres bendecida por tenerlos en tu vida. Diles que los amas y que los necesitas. Hazles saber que le rezas a Dios para que lleguen a los 100 años. Cuando tu jardín crezca hermoso, agradéceles los consejos y las enseñanzas. Demuéstrales que los amas celebrando su cumpleaños, aniversario, Navidad y el Día de la Madre. Regálales cosas que digan “Te amo y soy bendecida por tenerte en mi vida”.
5. Defiende sus enseñanzas, fe y valores familiares: mis padres me enseñaron humildad y bondad con todos, grandes o pequeños, pobres o ricos. En mi familia, mis padres me inculcaron la generosidad y la inclusión. Me enseñaron a perdonar y a nunca excluir a la familia. A esforzarme siempre por hacer que la familia se sienta bienvenida. Que lo vean. Demuéstrales con acciones tu servicio a los demás, ya sea agasajando a los demás en una reunión familiar con comida, risas y amabilidad, o en un evento familiar especial. Muéstrales que el fruto del Espíritu es evidente en tu vida.
6. Busca su consejo y sabiduría: pídeles consejo. Les da valor e importancia. Pídeles que oren por ti en momentos difíciles. Habla sobre conflictos, traumas y resuelve heridas y decepciones pasadas que sucedieron entre familiares. Conversa sobre las lecciones aprendidas.
7. Muestra compasión y amor: Escúchalos, abrázalos y bésalos con frecuencia. Abrázalos porque una vez fuiste niño. Te cuidaron y te cuidaron hasta la salud, y se quedaron despiertos hasta tarde, pasando muchas noches en vela. Curaron tus heridas y te defendieron del mundo en momentos difíciles.

Entiendo que no todos los hijos tuvieron una crianza sana y feliz. Entiendo que algunos padres pudieron haber sido crueles y poco amorosos. Entiendo que, en ciertas circunstancias, es necesario establecer límites para la paz y la armonía personal y de su matrimonio/familia. Pero también sé que podemos ser mejores y hacer las cosas mejor. También sé que Dios es amor. También sé que la Biblia nos enseña a amar y orar por nuestros enemigos. También sé que debemos perdonar. También sé que si le pedimos a nuestro Padre Celestial, él nos dará un momento “Manasás”, es decir, nos hará olvidar el dolor de nuestra familia. Hoy, si este es tu caso, pídele al Señor que sane tu corazón para que tú también puedas honrar a tus padres, aunque no lo merezcan. Seamos realistas, nosotros tampoco merecemos el perdón de Dios. No merecemos su misericordia ni su gracia. Sin embargo, él envió a su Hijo a morir en la cruz por nosotros. Quizás no puedas hacer todo lo de esta lista. Quizás solo puedas hacer una cosa. Entonces, empieza por ahí.

Al mismo tempo, no dejes que el ajetreo de la vida, las preocupaciones de este mundo y nuestro propio egoísmo te roben la bendición de honrar a tu padre y a tu madre. Amar a los demás como a ti mismo empieza en casa, con tus padres. Sé amor y demuestra amor a quienes te dieron la vida. Dios lo ve todo.

Mucho amor,

Karly XOX

Ever since I was a child, I was taught this commandment. It’s the 5th Commandment with a Promise. The promise is that you will have a long life, Exodus 20: 12. Wow, that’s pretty amazing especially when you think about the average life span of a human is 75 years of age. As children and teenagers we’ve all undergone a rebellious stage or a stage where we thought we knew it all and our parents knew nothing. We thought to ourselves “they’re out of touch”, “they know nothing”. But like my mother always said, “when you were coming, I went and came back several times”. Basically, there’s nothing new under the sun.

As we age and form our own families many believe that we no longer have to honor our parents, and that honoring our parents is something wedo only when we are under age and under the care of our parents. Many believe that when we get married or move away that this commandment doesn’t apply.

The Bible teaches otherwise. Jesus very clearly stated it in Mark 7: 8-13. He made it a point to expose the religious community (Pharasees and Scribes) that they had forgotten to honor their father and mother thus making the Word of God of no effect. When a person marries, their wife and children become the priority. Nothing trumps the nuclear family nor the spouse; however, we don’t forget our parents and we don’t neglect to honor them.

This leaves me to the question. What does it mean to honor your mother and father? Or better yet, how do we honor our parents as children, growing up, and as adults?

How to honor your parents:

1. Show Respect: listen to their stories, their thoughts & feelings. What are their interests? Speak kindly to them. Be courteous and loving. Do not curse them or be rude. Do not belittle them or make them feel inferior. Encourage, motivate and uplift them up. Hold them in upmost esteem. Listen to their advice.
2. Spend Quality time with them: visit them often, go for walks at the park, take them out to restaurants , cook them a meal or go have lunch at their home. Most Mothers I know love cooking for their children, adult children and or grandchildren. Talk to them regularly on the phone. You don’t know when you’ll have that last conversation. Go to church with them, garden with them. Ask them to help you if this is an area of a speciality to them. I know my mom has a green thumb. Everything she touches in the plant world flourishes. Cook together, go shopping, go hang out at the beach and talk. Make it a point to take your mother or father on a vacation or a trip. There’s a time for the nuclear family and there’s a time where you can spend time in vacation and honor them.
3. Support them financially and/or emotionally: pray with them, listen to their stories, assist with errands, paying bills and or household chores. If your mother or father has a limited fixed income, help them financially. Give them money. Set up a budget where you can support them on a monthly basis. Trust me, it helps but it shows love, gratitude, and appreciation. If your mother is a widow, please make sure you supply her needs to the best of your abilities. Include this in your budget as a sweet aroma to God. Remember that true religion is to help the widows and orphans in their time of need.
4. Gratitude: tell them often you are blessed to have them in your life. Tell them you love them and that you need them in your life. Let them know that you are praying to God that they will reach the ripe age of 100. When your garden grows beautifully, tell them thank you for tips and for teaching you. Show them you love them by celebrating their birthday, anniversary, Christmas and Mother’s day! Get them thoughtful gifts that say I love you and I’m blessed to have you in my life.
5. Uphold their teachings, faith & family values: my parents taught me humbleness and kindness to all whether big or small, poor or rich. In my family my parents taught me generosity and inclusiveness. They taught forgiveness and to never exclude family. To always go out of your way to make family feel welcomed. Let them see this. Show them through action when serving others whether it’s through entertaining in a home gathering with food, laughter, and kindness or a special family event. Show them that the fruit of the Spirit are evident in your life.
6. Seek their advice and wisdom: ask for advice. It gives them value & importance. Ask them to pray for you in times of trouble. Talk about conflicts, traumas, and resolve past hurts & disappointments that happened among family members. Have discussions on the lessons learned.
7. Show Compassion and Love: Listen, hug and kiss them often. Embrace them for once you were a child. They cared for you and nursed you to health and stayed up late with many sleepless nights. They fixed your wounds and defended you against the world during times of trouble.

I understand that not every son or daughter had a healthy and happy upbringing. I understand that some parents might have been cruel and unloving. I understand that in certain circumstances set boundaries need to be established for the peace and harmony of self and your marriage/family. But I also know that we can be better and do better. I also know that God is Love. I also know that the Bible teaches us to love and pray for our enemies. I also know that we are to forgive. I also know that if we ask our heavenly father, he will give us a “Manassah” moment, meaning he will “make us forget the pain in our family”. Today if this is you, ask the Lord to heal your heart so that you too can honor your parents even if they do not deserve it. Let’s be real , we don’t deserve God’s forgiveness either. We don’t deserve his mercy and grace. Yet, he sent HIs son to die on the cross for us. Maybe you can’t do all the things on this list. Maybe you can only do 1 thing. Then start there.

For the rest, don’t let the busyness of life , cares of this world and our own selfishness rob you of the blessing of honoring your father and your mother. Loving others as yourself starts at home with your parents. Go be love and show love to those that gave you life. God sees it all.

Much love,

Karly XOX